We all know them and try to avoid them — annoying people.
They grate everyone’s nerves and personally make me want to chew my own arm off and beat myself to death with it. Unfortunately, annoying people are inevitable and we can’t control their actions, but hopefully we can learn to control our reactions to them. So, let’s discuss a few of the most annoying types of people and how to deal with them effectively.
1. The Inconsiderate Idiots
They are the people with bad table manners and no social skills. They chew with their mouths open, spit when they are speaking to you, and pick their noses in public. They are the men who laugh about passing gas and the women who belch in public without even saying, “Excuse me”. They are the mouth breathers of society who have no sense of personal space and they are oblivious to the fact that everyone is appalled by their uncivilized behavior. Inconsiderate idiots are the people who punch your arm using brute force to get your attention and they laugh while their children kick you in the shins.
The best way to deal with an inconsiderate idiot is to avoid making eye contact with them and pray they don’t see you. If that doesn’t work, start scratching yourself and tell them that you have a rash that the doctor says is highly contagious.
2. The Know-It-Alls
These are the people who think they are never wrong and seem to know everything except how completely annoying they really are. They start every sentence with the word “actually” and they love to tell you how you can do things more efficiently. They can turn any lighthearted conversation into a debate and turn your sarcastic joke into a life lesson. They are experts at giving unsolicited advice and will quickly become your ‘life coach’ if you allow them to see your weaknesses. Know-it-alls spend their days reposting Snopes articles on their friend’s social media pages and they usually spend their nights alone, because people don’t want to be around them.
There’s no help for a know-it-all. ‘Once a know-it-all, always a know-it-all’, so don’t waste your breath. Just pretend to agree with everything they say, so they will stop talking.
3. The Whiny Complainer
Whiny complainers are energy vampires that are never satisfied with anything or anyone. They can suck the fun right out of any activity, totally depress you, and make you feel like you need to go home and have a good cry. They are the people who will point out the worst in even the happiest situation. Whiny complainers are easily offended and live in a constant state of butt-hurt. They love to wallow in their own misery and want everyone else to wallow in it with them.
The best way to deal with a whiny complainer is to counter every complaint with something positive and let them know that no one really likes them. Because it’s true, no one likes a whiny complainer. Whiny complainers don’t even like themselves.
4. The Person Who Offers Too Much Information
They say the devil is in the details, but the TMI person does not know this. TMI people will tell you every last disgusting detail of their gastrointestinal virus and they don’t care if you throw up while hearing it. These are the men who want to give the world the sordid details of the awful breakup with their baby mama. They are the women who give every last detail of their childbirth story and they believe you sincerely want to hear it. TMI people do not possess the social skills necessary to understand that the repulsed look on your face means that they need to shut up.
So, how do you handle someone who doesn’t understand the concept of socially acceptable “sharing”? You have to “one-up” them. You have to tell them a tale so outrageous that it makes their own story look like a fairy tale. They have a dramatic childbirth story? Tell them how you delivered your own twins by cesarean section in the car on the way to the hospital. I promise it will shut them up.
5. The Bragging Faker
This person wants everyone to think his/her life is beyond perfect. Bragging fakers are very insecure and feel a strong need to impress everyone. They are the people who want you to know that their kids make straight A’s, that they’re going to Hawaii for their anniversary, and that people half their age hit on them often. None of it is true, but they want you to know about it nonetheless. They fish for compliments by posting flattering, overly photo-shopped pictures of themselves on their social media accounts at least thrice daily. They spend their days making memes with their own picture and they spend their nights on Facebook bragging about all the good deeds they’ve done. Bragging fakers think everyone sees them as fabulous; when in reality, everyone is just rolling their eyes.
Dealing with bragging fakers is simple. They usually self-destruct over time, so all you have to do is wait…and block them on social media so you don’t go insane while you’re waiting.
This is obviously not an exhaustive list of annoying types, because there aren’t enough trees on the planet to make the paper it would take to list and discuss all the types of annoying people in the world. I should probably also mention that the views expressed here are my own and in no way reflect the views of VIPSEEN Magazine.